SERIOUS AWESOMENESS: 2011

New post! Okay, not really. This is a reblog from what i made after the movie The Ugly Truth came out 2 years ago. It was so awesome i had to reblog it.

October 21, 2009

This is my version of the ugly truths that pop out in the edge of my mind. I was really inspired by Mike Chadway's point of view. Kakarelate! Walang aangal! Most of this you've probably seen before. Not all of them are original. But hey, I try my best.
Note: Anything I input here that you find offensive, I apologize in advance. It's just what I know based on my experience.

1. The more you convince yourself to follow a diet gives you more excuse to cheat from it.

2. No matter how sweet you are and ready to put your life on the line before the one you love, the guy with the money always wins.

3. Long distance relationships NEVER work. Eventually.

4. Relationships always end up with sex. Whether you like it or not.

5. Sex before everything doesn't end up in anything at all. Hit and run!

6. Never disagree with a guy you've given a chance to decide what to plan for the day. If you have to, do it only ONCE. If you disagree twice or more, he'll end up thinking "WTF?? YOU DECIDE!!"

7. Size doesn't matter as long as you perform well. YEAH RIGHT. Size always matters for women. That was so 2004!

8. An over sensitive guy is not gay. He's a lesbian.

9. Rarest of guys love the cute cuddly voice. Most men like the sexy voice better. But don't overuse it. You'll sound like a slut.

10. If a guy does like the cute, cuddly voice, don't use it during sex. No one wants to fuck a baby.

11. Women who talk about sex regularly isn't getting any.

12. "You have no right to be hurt. Because you're not together." (awww kay! gin-translate..hahaha)

13. If you have no ass, show off your breasts. No dew or mountain dew. Find a way.

14. If you're not gifted, use your ass. Guys tend to look down when you turn around.

15. Never assume any smile, gesture, txt message, greeting, laugh about what you said, or any good night from the person you like that it has any meaning to you. Send to many lang yan!

16. Women may not know it consciously, but a man with a deep heart always loses to a man with a deeper wallet.

17. In the end, the flirty people always get laid...wanted or unwanted.

18. If you know that a close guy friend likes you in spite of you having a boyfriend, never tell him to back off. If you do, it can either challenge him more, or cause a depression. It's bad enough for him that you already have a boyfriend in the first place.

19. Guys dig chicks who drink. But if you drink as much or more as they do, they'll feel so inferior that they could throw up on you.

20. Guys always have two objectives in life. How to make you his baby, and how to make a baby.

21. If you meet a guy online, he'll always ask for a webcam not to see how you look and how you dress. It's to see how you look without that dress.

22. There will always be an "other woman" or "other man".

23. Women who talk vulgar about sex chicken out at the first sign of the real thing.

24. The handsome men are not nice. The nice men are not handsome. Handsome and nice men are gay.

25. No matter how inexperienced you are regarding sex, you'll be surprised when it finally happens. You know more than you think.

26. Men who have their own principles usually don't follow them. Like me. :)

P.S. I want to make one like this in the future, but that's when i'm interested only.

-lagim