Ode to The Perfect Man

The perfect man is gentle
And never cruel or mean.
He has a perfect smile
And is always neat and clean.


The perfect man likes kids
And will raise them by your side.
He will be a caring father,
And good husband to his bride.


The perfect man loves cooking.
He will clean and vacuum, too.
He'll do what's in his power
To show his love for you.


The perfect man is sweet,
Writing poems with your name.
He's a best friend to your mother
And will kiss away your pain.


He never makes you cry
Nor caused you hurt in any way.
To hell with this endless poem --
The perfect man is gay.

The Ugly Truth.

New post! Okay, not really. This is a reblog from what i made after the movie The Ugly Truth came out 2 years ago. It was so awesome i had to reblog it.

October 21, 2009

This is my version of the ugly truths that pop out in the edge of my mind. I was really inspired by Mike Chadway's point of view. Kakarelate! Walang aangal! Most of this you've probably seen before. Not all of them are original. But hey, I try my best.
Note: Anything I input here that you find offensive, I apologize in advance. It's just what I know based on my experience.



1. The more you convince yourself to follow a diet gives you more excuse to cheat from it.

2. No matter how sweet you are and ready to put your life on the line before the one you love, the guy with the money always wins.

3. Long distance relationships NEVER work. Eventually.

4. Relationships always end up with sex. Whether you like it or not.

5. Sex before everything doesn't end up in anything at all. Hit and run!

6. Never disagree with a guy you've given a chance to decide what to plan for the day. If you have to, do it only ONCE. If you disagree twice or more, he'll end up thinking "WTF?? YOU DECIDE!!"

7. Size doesn't matter as long as you perform well. YEAH RIGHT. Size always matters for women. That was so 2004!

8. An over sensitive guy is not gay. He's a lesbian.

9. Rarest of guys love the cute cuddly voice. Most men like the sexy voice better. But don't overuse it. You'll sound like a slut.

10. If a guy does like the cute, cuddly voice, don't use it during sex. No one wants to fuck a baby.

11. Women who talk about sex regularly isn't getting any.

12. "You have no right to be hurt. Because you're not together." (awww kay! gin-translate..hahaha)

13. If you have no ass, show off your breasts. No dew or mountain dew. Find a way.

14. If you're not gifted, use your ass. Guys tend to look down when you turn around.

15. Never assume any smile, gesture, txt message, greeting, laugh about what you said, or any good night from the person you like that it has any meaning to you. Send to many lang yan!

16. Women may not know it consciously, but a man with a deep heart always loses to a man with a deeper wallet.

17. In the end, the flirty people always get laid...wanted or unwanted.

18. If you know that a close guy friend likes you in spite of you having a boyfriend, never tell him to back off. If you do, it can either challenge him more, or cause a depression. It's bad enough for him that you already have a boyfriend in the first place.

19. Guys dig chicks who drink. But if you drink as much or more as they do, they'll feel so inferior that they could throw up on you.

20. Guys always have two objectives in life. How to make you his baby, and how to make a baby.

21. If you meet a guy online, he'll always ask for a webcam not to see how you look and how you dress. It's to see how you look without that dress.

22. There will always be an "other woman" or "other man".

23. Women who talk vulgar about sex chicken out at the first sign of the real thing.

24. The handsome men are not nice. The nice men are not handsome. Handsome and nice men are gay.

25. No matter how inexperienced you are regarding sex, you'll be surprised when it finally happens. You know more than you think.

26. Men who have their own principles usually don't follow them. Like me. :)

P.S. I want to make one like this in the future, but that's when i'm interested only.

-lagim

Happy 48th. ♥

..A Little Ways Down the Road..

♥ Back when we knew each other for the first time.. ♥

♥..we've been through with high school as friends. Even considering you as my sister at one time..♥

♥..college was even better. So fine, fine, fine.♥



♥ And when we decided we weren't going to be "just friends",♥

♥..we became more AWESOME instead.♥

♥ At times, I may not always agree..♥

♥..you'd get mad and I'll feel threatened.♥

♥I make mistakes, I know,

 I'm not the perfect boyfriend.♥

♥..I'm just afraid you'll leave me again.♥

♥ We've been through a lot, these couple of years..♥

♥..from Cappings..♥

♥..weddings..♥

♥ ..to duties..♥

♥..and just drinking a lot of beers..♥

♥ Of course, graduating together is really one to celebrate. Cheers! ♥

♥ We've traveled together far and wide in the Philippine Republic..♥

♥..from Cebu to Boracay..♥

♥..to the shores and a zoo in Subic.♥

All the times we've spent,

all the trials,

all the hurts,

all the laughter,

and all the firsts,

although it's already morning at 2:08,

what more reason to stay up late,

I just want to give this simple gesture,

to celebrate..

well..

Our 48th. ♥

♥ i love you tata. forever. ♥

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Not much goals for this month. No, not since my schedule at the hospital ran out. 


1 - Start to go on duty again to have salary and at least have enough money to have an "RV gives back" this Christmas to my family and some friends. If ever i'm called. I hope. And it's getting boring nowadays.


2 - Watch at least 2 movies in the mall. One down. C'mon, t's been a long time already. Give me a chance.


3 - Do something different on a special day. :) Para maiba naman.


4 - Catch up on my bass skills once more. It's the return of the comeback. 


5 - Pay for my own diesel. Enough freeloading.

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

There are a lot of things that have a big impact in my life. I have narrowed down all of those into these.

Music

Music has always been a big part of my life. The only regret i have is that i tuned into it too late and now i'm making up for all that lost time. My family has always been music oriented since i was young. I just avoided it back then. Came high school, where all the bands started to pop out and i learned to play the guitar in less than 2 weeks. Music makes me high. Music lifts me up when i'm down. It cools me down when i get so mad. Which is very rare. The mad part i mean. Heck, i can't drive well enough without music playing. Even when the stereo shuts off sometimes i still play some music through my phone. 

Family

Of course what would make my life complete without family? The family i grew up with. Being the youngest, i got the most hand-me-downs and approvals just so i could finish and be the man i am today. It was worth all that. Even at times i was considered the black sheep of the family, they still loved me no matter what. 

P.S.

If i had to choose a third, it would be mentioned later in this 30 day challenge. :)

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

After long hours of contemplating who to put, i have finally reached a decision. But it wasn't that easy. I asked girlfriend for a suggestion and it's like she read the thought in my mind. I don't favor super heroes, I favor super VILLAINS. Yeah. I'm that evil. We probably had the same person in mind. So i made up my mind and decided to put one super hero and a super villain. 

Barry Allen or Wally West. I can't tell. Those two really crack me up. Best Flashes ever.

The hero I choose is The Flash. Ever since my elementary years, I've always liked this hero. Even though Spider-man drew a big shadow over this hero, I still remained loyal to this speedster. The thing about Flash is, there is no tragic story behind the origin of his superhuman speed. It was actually only an accident. Maybe that's why I also liked Peter Parker's story of being "accidentally" bit by a radioactive spider. But Flash isn't a depressed, socially deprived geek teenager being bullied in high school. He was just a regular guy with a simple problem. He was just too SLOW. So getting his powers actually made him better. Also much like Spider-Man. Another reason why I like the Flash is that we are somewhat similar in some ways. Like his metabolism. Flash has a hyper-accelerated metabolism that when he eats, it only takes about 30 minutes to digest. And then he eats again but he never grows fat. Another similarity is his speed. Okay so i may not be able to move close to the speed of light, but i can be quick in arriving destinations. People get surprised sometimes that i just show up when they were expecting me to arrive at least 10 minutes later. Flash also has a corny but in a way nice sense of humor. Which i also have. I also talk a lot and really fast that sometimes no one can even understand me. Not even myself. True story.

Heath Ledger as the Joker. My favorite portrayal of the character. Cheers to Mr. Ledger. 

The villain i chose is of course, the one and only, Joker. He may not have fancy powers, he may not have gadgets that makes us go "WOOOOOW!!", and he may not be the best, but for me he is. The fact that he can hold his own even without all that is impressive. The idea of him being a superhero is ridiculous, but being called a superhero means you are cool. And you gotta admit, the Joker is pretty cool on his own. His style may be unorthodox but it still gets the job done. The job being him showing how pathetic the way people attempt to control things in their little worlds. He always gets to do his thing only to be thwarted by his nemesis and some weird kind of way best friend Batman. Plus he is one of the inspirations for the title of this blog. Why so serious?

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

When the employee offered to take our picture, i gave him the look in order to scare him not to run away with the camera.

I chose 2 pictures for this entry. The first picture was in Subic and our first out of town together with my family. There was still one with the ocean adventure thing but we had no picture with us both in it. The second picture was out time in Boracay but this time with her family. It was just awesome.